Dad much better, and considering nursing home for next step. Mom feels home spooky alone.

Dad looks and is much better, both physically and emotionally.

Dad's doctor asked what he thought about spending some time in a rest home.  Dad thinks it might help.  So Dad is thinking of going to a rehab/nursing home until he can take care of himself.  He feels he tried going home and having Mom take care of him, but she & he could not handle it.  Mom felt sad that she could not.  She could understand that she was not giving him good cooked meals, and blames herself some for that.  She could not understand so well that Dad needed to be woken up to get pills and meals at certain times of day.  In her words, when she tried that, Dad bit her head off.  We said that the nursing home workers have thicker skin.


I did not share with them, but I feel part of the issue is the set-up at home.  Too much heat in Dad's bedroom.  Too much clutter to get to the bathroom quickly and easily.

Dad's chemo is on hold until he is out of the hospital, and will probably reset after that.

Mom is feeling that home is large, slightly spooky, and too quiet alone.  She seemed to understand after a bit of letting off steam that Dad moving to nursing home is temporary.  She also has some fear Dad will never leave a nursing home.  I also share that concern, but feel the nursing home is the best hope for getting him well.  Dad already will have to restart chemotherapy again.  This is the second time, both because he had to be hospitalized due to, in part, lack of good care and situation at home.

I am beginning to think assisted living near Dad's nursing home would be good for them both (and solve the challenge for transportation for visits).  Dad seemed open to the idea, except for worry of expense.  Mom did not comprehend so well, but instead thought of moving somewhere else.  She emphatically stated she is not moving outside of Macomb county.  I was pleased and surprised she did not say out of her home.  I mentioned the idea to Dad's case worker, and they seemed to think it was a good idea.  However, not being Mom's case worker, it did not seem like they could take any further action on that at this point.
So near term, the confirmation of which rehab nursing home will take Dad, and getting Dad well enough to leave the hospital, are the next steps.