Mom is still adjusting to being a widow. A main sadness is lack of company or things to keep her busy. Her knitting helps, when she remembers it or is not tired of it. She also has been enjoying getting Christmas cards. She keeps on talking of writing up some to send out, but I doubt her attention span and memory will be such that she will ever get them out. She does think of many people, and has not forgotten her friends and family.
She is usually OK, but once in a while gets lonely.
She had a doctor appointment on Thursday. Her blood sugar level was really good, at 95. In general, she seems healthy. Mom asked if there was anything that could be done to help her memory. (I think it is worse than it was a couple months ago, in some respects.) The doctor said she needs some people to talk to. Being alone too much is not helping her memory.
The social worker that is affiliated with the doctor had her second and last visit on Friday. She recommended, but did not require, assisted living for Mom. In other words, Mom and I would get benefit from some of the services, but there is not an urgent safety need for them. Mom is still adamant about not moving, although sometimes she is open to considering a senior apartment. She wants to stay in the same area, and not move closer to me, because she knows that area, and would feel like she would have to learn where all the stores are in a new area.
The social worker also gave some recommendations on home care / private duty care providers, a new louder phone, and on pill dispensers that are timed to help Mom remember to take her medicine. The pill dispenser comes with a monthly charge for a monitoring service, so that does not really sound like what we want.
The phone answering machine quit working about a week ago. I am not planning on replacing it because Mom had a lot of trouble with it anyway. Without one, the phone can keep ringing, giving her more time to hear it, and get to it.
Today Mom came and visited our house for the first time. She said she had a good time. We wanted to get her away for the day, because 45 years ago today, Mom and Dad were married.
So I would say things are going OK, but not great near term, and still a lot of uncertainly long term. I am glad Mom is safe and healthy.
Mom considered safe to stay at home alone.
A meeting at the house with a medical social worker today was uneventful and went well.
She was convinced that Mom is safe at home. She is going to help by making some recommendations for pill dispenser with alarm reminder, and phone ringer with flashing light. The nurse, after her second visit, was less worried as well.
She was convinced that Mom is safe at home. She is going to help by making some recommendations for pill dispenser with alarm reminder, and phone ringer with flashing light. The nurse, after her second visit, was less worried as well.
Mom's doctor appointment went OK; cold less a worry than regular pill taking.
Doctor is worried that Mom might not regularly take her pills. He is planning on asking a visiting nurse to check up on her.
Mom not great, but OK, I am fine
I am doing OK, keeping too busy to really be affected by much.
Between work and paperwork needing done for the estate, and some other items, it seems like I have zero time.
Mom is struggling a bit. She is still adjusting, and realizes it will be a big adjustment. She is very lonely at times. I wish I knew how best to make it easier for her.
Mom is struggling a bit. She is still adjusting, and realizes it will be a big adjustment. She is very lonely at times. I wish I knew how best to make it easier for her.
Funeral went well.
The funeral went well in my opinion, and helped Mom and I mourn about Dad's death and rejoice about Dad's life. Thanks to all who helped, attended, and prayed.
Eulogy / Tribute to my father, Harold Abbey
Dad was not perfect, and made many mistakes. However, I want to share some areas that I think we can learn from my father, Harold Abbey.
Dad loved Mom deeply. Many of the health care workers got to see love expressed in ways that were not possible when they were both healthy. When Mom was near death due to a stroke a year ago, Dad said that he wanted to hear Mom yell at him, because then he would know she was OK. Dad cried out desperately to God to save her, and God in His mercy did. So He got his desire to be yelled at. Even in much of their bickering, you could tell that Mom and Dad deeply loved each other. When Dad was ill himself, he fought the best he could because he worried about Mom, and wanted to care for her. Even his cheapness reflected love. He loves God, and wanted to not waste God's money, and he loved Mom, and feared that she would not have enough during retirement years.
Dad was tight with his money for himself, but was generous as he felt he could be with others. He knew however that money alone often can only make underlying issues worse, so he tried to be careful.
Dad would have spoiled me badly, but he did not have it to give. He told me he was glad he did not have it, because he knew it would not be good for me.
Dad hated to see anything go to waste. He felt he should not throw away items that God had given to him to take care of.
Even the items in the dumpster at the Hudson's department store, such as cabinets, lumber, light fixtures, and much else was salvaged. It has blessed many of the family and friends.
Dad loved Mom deeply. Many of the health care workers got to see love expressed in ways that were not possible when they were both healthy. When Mom was near death due to a stroke a year ago, Dad said that he wanted to hear Mom yell at him, because then he would know she was OK. Dad cried out desperately to God to save her, and God in His mercy did. So He got his desire to be yelled at. Even in much of their bickering, you could tell that Mom and Dad deeply loved each other. When Dad was ill himself, he fought the best he could because he worried about Mom, and wanted to care for her. Even his cheapness reflected love. He loves God, and wanted to not waste God's money, and he loved Mom, and feared that she would not have enough during retirement years.
Dad was tight with his money for himself, but was generous as he felt he could be with others. He knew however that money alone often can only make underlying issues worse, so he tried to be careful.
Dad would have spoiled me badly, but he did not have it to give. He told me he was glad he did not have it, because he knew it would not be good for me.
Dad hated to see anything go to waste. He felt he should not throw away items that God had given to him to take care of.
Even the items in the dumpster at the Hudson's department store, such as cabinets, lumber, light fixtures, and much else was salvaged. It has blessed many of the family and friends.
Funeral times Friday after 4, Saturday 10:30
Funeral details have been arranged.
Friday, 10/31/2014, visitation and viewing at 3:30pm for immediate family.
Friday, 10/31/2014, viewing anytime from 4:00pm till 9:00pm for the public.
Saturday, 11/1/2014, All Saints Day, viewing from 10:00am to 11:00am
Saturday, 11/1/2014, 11:00am funeral service, followed by grave-side service.
Visitation and funeral service is at Kaul Funeral Home, 27830 Gratiot; Roseville, MI 48066.
The grave is at Cadillac Memorial Gardens, East, across a pathway from Dad's parents, brother, and other relatives.
It was somewhat amusing arranging the funeral with Mom. The funeral home manager walked us through the process with much patience and understanding. He started us off with a price list and pointed us toward a mid-price package. Mom let her sticker shock be very well known that even that lower price option was way more than she expected. After that initial price offer, I was more than willing to enjoy the round about in circles that went on while I was half working on some other items related to the funeral. For example, I think Mom asked 3 times about what a OBC was (outer burial container), which she knew as a vault, the studier box that holds the coffin in the ground. Dad had already purchased those, so that was not even a relevant part of the discussion, but was listed on one of the price lists.
We ended up with working up from the base package. So things that make it pretty or memorable were skipped, such as a package of flower arrangements, or a necklace with a pendant with a thumbprint of Dad.
We hope that all visitors will not be distracted from the relationships and memories because these extra trimmings are missing.
By the way, Jodi and I got to see pictures of the very cheapest (still not cheap in my opinion) caskets made of cardboard. I made it clear to Jodi that I want the 2nd cheapest, which does not look exactly like a cardboard box, but, in Jodi's phrase, looks a bit like a matchbox.
Mom is having some rough times, but some joyful times with family as well.
Friday, 10/31/2014, visitation and viewing at 3:30pm for immediate family.
Friday, 10/31/2014, viewing anytime from 4:00pm till 9:00pm for the public.
Saturday, 11/1/2014, All Saints Day, viewing from 10:00am to 11:00am
Saturday, 11/1/2014, 11:00am funeral service, followed by grave-side service.
Visitation and funeral service is at Kaul Funeral Home, 27830 Gratiot; Roseville, MI 48066.
The grave is at Cadillac Memorial Gardens, East, across a pathway from Dad's parents, brother, and other relatives.
It was somewhat amusing arranging the funeral with Mom. The funeral home manager walked us through the process with much patience and understanding. He started us off with a price list and pointed us toward a mid-price package. Mom let her sticker shock be very well known that even that lower price option was way more than she expected. After that initial price offer, I was more than willing to enjoy the round about in circles that went on while I was half working on some other items related to the funeral. For example, I think Mom asked 3 times about what a OBC was (outer burial container), which she knew as a vault, the studier box that holds the coffin in the ground. Dad had already purchased those, so that was not even a relevant part of the discussion, but was listed on one of the price lists.
We ended up with working up from the base package. So things that make it pretty or memorable were skipped, such as a package of flower arrangements, or a necklace with a pendant with a thumbprint of Dad.
We hope that all visitors will not be distracted from the relationships and memories because these extra trimmings are missing.
By the way, Jodi and I got to see pictures of the very cheapest (still not cheap in my opinion) caskets made of cardboard. I made it clear to Jodi that I want the 2nd cheapest, which does not look exactly like a cardboard box, but, in Jodi's phrase, looks a bit like a matchbox.
Mom is having some rough times, but some joyful times with family as well.
Fyi flowers option
From funeral home:
You may also visit www.kaulfuneralhome.com for other helpful information. On our web page you will see the option for your family and friends to send flowers via FTD and our local florist. The family and friends code is 71812.
A bit of details of Harold Abbey passage from pain into Jesus's presence.
Dad passed on to be with Jesus.
Mom, Sally Abbey, misses him greatly already.
Dad no longer needs medication to be free from physical pain.
He died.
I know some of you may have heard or read already, because of the
calls, visits, and writings of condolence and support. Thank you.
My father passed from life to death to second life around 3pm today, 10/28/2014.
He had been resting peacefully, with the aid of medicine, the last couple days.
Hospice was a great help with taking care of all the details.
Dad no longer needs medication to be free from physical pain.
He died.
I know some of you may have heard or read already, because of the
calls, visits, and writings of condolence and support. Thank you.
My father passed from life to death to second life around 3pm today, 10/28/2014.
He had been resting peacefully, with the aid of medicine, the last couple days.
Hospice was a great help with taking care of all the details.
Harold Abbey with Jesus now
Mom called around 3:12 pm to let me know Dad is dead. Funeral details are not yet known, but plans are for Kaul Funeral Home of Roseville.
Thanks to Jodi for typing this message as we drive over to my parents' home.
Most likely Friday visitation and Saturday funeral.
Thank God for family and hospice
Hospice has been a great help to Dad, Mom and me.
Uncle Chuck and Aunt Luise came to visit a few days starting this evening and already have been a great help.
Dad is very non-responsive now and very thin looking. He has not been taking liquids for the last day.
So it looks to be soon that he will get to see Jesus.
So it looks to be soon that he will get to see Jesus.
Mom seems very OK when talking to others and distracted. She seems very sad when she thinks about Dad, but seems healthy about it.
Dad may not have long to live
(reposted after accidental deletion)
I would guess around 2 weeks.
Hospice has been able to greatly ease Dad's pain during their visits.
Mom and I have not had as much success, but our efforts have allowed Dad
to have rest, although fitful.
Mom has taken it very hard at times, but often got distracted yesterday
(Friday), by things such as TV news segments or a political
advertisement. She read through the political paper multiple times,
repeating comments, for the election she already absentee voted for.
Last night she got very little sleep, so was more focused today.
As expected and known, but still hard to accept, Dad is dying.
Hospice does not give him long. Much more than hours. Mom got the idea of about a week. I got the impression they can not predict so well yet (or ever), but think less than a month. Based on a pamphlet they provided of symptoms of approaching death, if Dad is following most common timeline, it will be about 2 weeks. However, the pamphlet said very clearly that everyone is different, and estimates are very approximate.
Hospice does not give him long. Much more than hours. Mom got the idea of about a week. I got the impression they can not predict so well yet (or ever), but think less than a month. Based on a pamphlet they provided of symptoms of approaching death, if Dad is following most common timeline, it will be about 2 weeks. However, the pamphlet said very clearly that everyone is different, and estimates are very approximate.
Mom did not sleep last night but was able to sleep this afternoon some
while Dad was also soundly sleeping. Mom gets very saddened and
stressed because she sees Dad in pain, and does not know of anything she
can do to help him. Since Dad has not been wearing pajamas the last
couple days, she sees more clearly now how much weight he has lost. His
very thin frame has helped her understand and acknowledge that Dad is
very sick with the cancer.
When Dad is responsive, he seems confused much of the time. At one
point he asked me who are you. Another time, what year is it. Yet
another time he said he did not know where he was. When dealing with
items such as medicine or moving, he seems very clear minded. Some
times his interaction is just moaning in pain. Once I heard him say a
short prayer to God for help.
A positive of the day was Mom was able, for the first time ever, to get
Dad to take some pain relief medicine when he did not want to.
Dad occasionally will try to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. He
does not have enough strength to even sit up, but he forgets that. In
the morning he was enough out of the bed to be in danger of falling out,
but the hospice help thankfully were able to be called in from outside
to get Dad back in bed. Later in the day he did not seem to have as
much energy to get as far.
Mom had a frustration with the liquid pain relief medicine bottle. She
could not get the child proof cap off. Thankfully I was there to open
it, and we did not screw it on tight again.
Much thanks go to Cousin Sean and Aunt Luise and Uncle Chuck. So far,
Mom's attitude has been affectionate to them, so they have been able to
be a real blessing to Mom and Dad. Mom has enjoyed talking to Aunt
Luise on the phone, and is very much looking forward to an expected
visit from them. Cousin Sean's visits have been encouraging. Dad even
asked for his nephew today, and I am very glad that I could say he was
planning on visiting tomorrow.
Switching from Home Nursing care to Hospice
I requested the visiting home nurse service to switch to hospice. Dad was very minimally responsive today, and really needed more help than I could give. In particular his pain and discomfort did not allow me to get any of his pills in him today. He also was not strong enough to stand, so I could not get him out of bed at all.
Dad consistently very tired.
Dad did not get up today until around 4:30PM.
He always was a night owl, but this is ridiculous. It may be that he had gotten up earlier and went back to bed to rest. However, he had not yet taken his "morning" / wake-up time pills.
He seems to be in a lot of pain, which is likely part of the reason for resting so much. Resting so much means he does not get some of his pills spaced out as much, which is possibly a reason for some of his pain. Alas.
He seems to be getting enough liquids and food, but it is hard to tell. He for sure is not getting more than enough. He lost a lot of weight and could stand to add some of it back.
He seems to be getting discouraged, and sometimes wishes God would take him to heaven quickly and simply, such as via a heart attack. However, as he said, as a Christian he does not get to make that choice, but instead has to wait for God's plan.
Mom seems to be getting more easily distracted. While she had a visitor, she got a phone call. She answered the phone, found out who it was, and then hung up on them without clearly saying that Dad was resting and that she had to go because of a visitor. I wonder if her memory is getting slightly worse, or more confusion and unusual events around her are causing more challenges.
They both seemed to have a nice visit with Cousin Sean today, although Sean was greatly worried about them.
He always was a night owl, but this is ridiculous. It may be that he had gotten up earlier and went back to bed to rest. However, he had not yet taken his "morning" / wake-up time pills.
He seems to be in a lot of pain, which is likely part of the reason for resting so much. Resting so much means he does not get some of his pills spaced out as much, which is possibly a reason for some of his pain. Alas.
He seems to be getting enough liquids and food, but it is hard to tell. He for sure is not getting more than enough. He lost a lot of weight and could stand to add some of it back.
He seems to be getting discouraged, and sometimes wishes God would take him to heaven quickly and simply, such as via a heart attack. However, as he said, as a Christian he does not get to make that choice, but instead has to wait for God's plan.
Mom seems to be getting more easily distracted. While she had a visitor, she got a phone call. She answered the phone, found out who it was, and then hung up on them without clearly saying that Dad was resting and that she had to go because of a visitor. I wonder if her memory is getting slightly worse, or more confusion and unusual events around her are causing more challenges.
They both seemed to have a nice visit with Cousin Sean today, although Sean was greatly worried about them.
Dad and Mom continuing OK
Dad was OK today, but in quite a bit of pain. He took some of the stronger pain medicine in the late afternoon.
Dad is getting slightly weaker day by day.
He was not feeling up to getting up to get his own dinner tonight. So I got him his request, a can of mixed fruit. I am guessing he will start relying on Mom to feed him now. They both reject the idea of meals on wheels, because they do not like the meals (portion and content). I am considering seeing if they would accept food delivery restaurants, like pizza and Jimmy John's subs. Growing up they were always strongly avoided due to unneeded cost and due to discomfort of knowing how to tip.
Mom is sometimes sad, crying at times, but making it through as if all was normal at other times, and bickering or upset at Dad at other times. I guess a healthy mix.
Mom said she would be uncomfortable to drive, due to her legs being shaky. So while she wants (/ demands) the permission to drive, she seems to self-recognize that she does not have the ability.
She also today said that she hoped I was not expecting her to move after Dad dies. At least not for a while. So she is still attached to the house, as I suspected she would be.
Dad is getting slightly weaker day by day.
He was not feeling up to getting up to get his own dinner tonight. So I got him his request, a can of mixed fruit. I am guessing he will start relying on Mom to feed him now. They both reject the idea of meals on wheels, because they do not like the meals (portion and content). I am considering seeing if they would accept food delivery restaurants, like pizza and Jimmy John's subs. Growing up they were always strongly avoided due to unneeded cost and due to discomfort of knowing how to tip.
Mom is sometimes sad, crying at times, but making it through as if all was normal at other times, and bickering or upset at Dad at other times. I guess a healthy mix.
Mom said she would be uncomfortable to drive, due to her legs being shaky. So while she wants (/ demands) the permission to drive, she seems to self-recognize that she does not have the ability.
She also today said that she hoped I was not expecting her to move after Dad dies. At least not for a while. So she is still attached to the house, as I suspected she would be.
Dad in pain, and somewhat depressed.
Dad did not take any pain medicine over the last week, in part out of a desire to avoid narcotics in an attempt to get in a condition to drive. However the pain is difficult for him. I feel it is depressing him as well. Hopefully the doctor visit on Monday, 10/13, will encourage him to take some pain medicine again.
Dad coming home today, 10/2/2014.
Dad's progress in the nursing home continued well.
So he is cleared to come home today, 10/2/2014, Thursday.
He and Mom are both very happy about that.
He has been assigned to use a rolling walker to help walk.
In general, he seems to be the healthiest he has been in quite a while.
Of course, I understand that long term outlook is different, but for the near term, I have good hopes.
I pray that Mom and Dad can get used to living together again. I also ask that being in the same house will help reduce their bickering, since their worries can be lessened since they are together.
So he is cleared to come home today, 10/2/2014, Thursday.
He and Mom are both very happy about that.
He has been assigned to use a rolling walker to help walk.
In general, he seems to be the healthiest he has been in quite a while.
Of course, I understand that long term outlook is different, but for the near term, I have good hopes.
I pray that Mom and Dad can get used to living together again. I also ask that being in the same house will help reduce their bickering, since their worries can be lessened since they are together.
Dad ready for second cataract surgery.
Good news of day: Dad is cleared for cataract surgery for his second eye. The first eye surgery went well. Dad's eyesight is getting to be a real nuisance for him, so this is good news.
It has been a big positive that Affordable Home Care has been driving Mom to visit Dad. That has made things much easier on me.
It has been a big positive that Affordable Home Care has been driving Mom to visit Dad. That has made things much easier on me.
Dad finished with chemotherapy. Estimated 3 weeks till comes home, and 6 months till leaves for eternal home.
The nursing home stay is going well for Dad.
The nursing home rehab is estimating that Dad will be able to come home in October. He has already greatly improved.
Dad decided he cannot take chemotherapy anymore.
The doctor is estimating that Dad has less than 7 months to live, perhaps 6, perhaps less.
Mom, Dad and I all seem to be taking it well, in large part because we have been halfway expecting this for a while.
The nursing home rehab is estimating that Dad will be able to come home in October. He has already greatly improved.
Dad decided he cannot take chemotherapy anymore.
The doctor is estimating that Dad has less than 7 months to live, perhaps 6, perhaps less.
Mom, Dad and I all seem to be taking it well, in large part because we have been halfway expecting this for a while.
Dad moving to Church of Christ Care Center.
The plan is that Dad will move to Church of Christ Care Center at 5pm by ambulance from the hospital today.
I am praising God for this.
I am praising God for this.
Dad going to nursing home; pausing chemotherapy
As heard before, due to the payment methods and extreme costs, nursing homes can not accept patients undergoing chemotherapy and the side-effects they bring.
So Dad will be pausing chemotherapy while he is placed in a nursing home.
The hope is that Dad will regain enough strength in the nursing home to be returned home. At that point the chemotherapy should be able to restart.
So now back to the point of praying that Dad gets a good nursing home, and Mom can manage home alone and getting to and from visiting Dad without too much difficulty.
So Dad will be pausing chemotherapy while he is placed in a nursing home.
The hope is that Dad will regain enough strength in the nursing home to be returned home. At that point the chemotherapy should be able to restart.
So now back to the point of praying that Dad gets a good nursing home, and Mom can manage home alone and getting to and from visiting Dad without too much difficulty.
Dad going to nursing home; unclear if continuing chemotherapy
Dad is recovering ok in hospital, but still throwing up some on a liquid diet.
Due to his not being able to handle chemotherapy while living at home, he is going to be moved to a nursing home.
It is unclear if he will be able to continue chemotherapy from the nursing home, or the focus will switch to hospice. Part of the decision will be what the health insurance will cover. I hope to learn more Tuesday.
Dad is unsure if he will ever come to live at home again. Mom seemed to take it well.
I think they both are being overly pessimistic at this point. Hopefully I will find out more later...
I think they both are being overly pessimistic at this point. Hopefully I will find out more later...
Dad doing better in hospital, but still vomiting
Dad looked and sounded much better this afternoon.
His cancer doctor mentioned the possibility (likelihood?) of him being sent to a nursing home / rehab center after getting out of the hospital. Both Mom and Dad are saddened by that idea, but seem to be accepting of it. Dad's main concern is confirming if it would be covered by their health insurance. A secondary hope is to get to a desirable place.
Dad was put on a liquid diet, due to his still vomiting. Even with a liquid meal, he still had trouble keeping food down.
His cancer doctor mentioned the possibility (likelihood?) of him being sent to a nursing home / rehab center after getting out of the hospital. Both Mom and Dad are saddened by that idea, but seem to be accepting of it. Dad's main concern is confirming if it would be covered by their health insurance. A secondary hope is to get to a desirable place.
Dad was put on a liquid diet, due to his still vomiting. Even with a liquid meal, he still had trouble keeping food down.
Dad dehydrated enough that admitted to hospital.
Dad was weak again today. This late morning he drank some water, and a nutrition drink. A bit later I asked him to try some more water. He said he felt nauseous, but I encouraged him to try a bit more. He did, and a bit later he thew up. So much for getting the nutrition drink and pills he had earlier.
The raised toilet seat had been helping a lot. The main challenge in that area has been that Dad has developed painful hemorrhoids.
Eventually, we went to the chemo doctor, and doctor felt the dehydration was serious enough to admit Dad to the hospital. So Dad is at St. John South Macomb hospital again.
Transportation mostly solved; nutrition good recently, but still a concern.
Yesterday afternoon Dad, in despair, called me over to the house to help. He wanted help cleaning himself and getting food and water.
I was able to help some.
Also he was able to have a breakfast drink this morning, a sandwich for lunch, and a reasonable dinner.
Today he also got a raised toilet seat that goes over the existing toilet.
Dad was also able to get up from the toilet seat unassisted after the placement of a seat riser on the toilet.
The physical therapist was there, and seemed to feel Dad would have enough strength to do his business unassisted.
His cancer doctor today thought he looked a lot better, mainly because of his body posture reflecting his less pain and more strength. Chemotherapy is continuing Wednesday.
Dad had felt weak enough that he decided to ask the Doctor for a walker. Doctor felt that Dad should not give in yet to getting more of that type of help, and that for now he should keep using a cane.
As part of the visit to the doctor, the hired help came along to learn where the doctor's office was, and the procedure that had been used to transport Dad.
It looks like the hired help will be a huge help for transportation. They helped Dad down the stairs safely, and were able to drive Mom's car home without any concerns.
Dad requested, and the hired help agreed, to also try their vehicle to see if it works better for them than Mom's car.
They will cost slightly more than taxi service, be much more helpful with steps in and out, and be understanding of the situation. Also, riding in Mom's car is much more comfortable for Dad than one of the taxis he was in one-and-a-half weeks ago.
Mom did not question today Dad getting a ride from someone else, nor that she would get a ride tomorrow to her doctor's appointment. Now that the arrangements are being made in somewhat of a whirlwind, she does not even seem to be asking the question of why, and why does she need help driving. Hopefully the question will not come to her mind, or be answered sufficiently in some non-threatening way.
There is still a concern of Dad getting water and nourishment. We are still working for agreements and arrangements so hired help can work to help with that as well. Alternatively, if Dad can gain enough strength to get himself to the refrigerator and table himself, maybe the hired help will not need to worry about that part.
So praise God for the extra help, and Dad's improvement of today anyway.
I was able to help some.
Also he was able to have a breakfast drink this morning, a sandwich for lunch, and a reasonable dinner.
Today he also got a raised toilet seat that goes over the existing toilet.
Dad was also able to get up from the toilet seat unassisted after the placement of a seat riser on the toilet.
The physical therapist was there, and seemed to feel Dad would have enough strength to do his business unassisted.
His cancer doctor today thought he looked a lot better, mainly because of his body posture reflecting his less pain and more strength. Chemotherapy is continuing Wednesday.
Dad had felt weak enough that he decided to ask the Doctor for a walker. Doctor felt that Dad should not give in yet to getting more of that type of help, and that for now he should keep using a cane.
As part of the visit to the doctor, the hired help came along to learn where the doctor's office was, and the procedure that had been used to transport Dad.
It looks like the hired help will be a huge help for transportation. They helped Dad down the stairs safely, and were able to drive Mom's car home without any concerns.
Dad requested, and the hired help agreed, to also try their vehicle to see if it works better for them than Mom's car.
They will cost slightly more than taxi service, be much more helpful with steps in and out, and be understanding of the situation. Also, riding in Mom's car is much more comfortable for Dad than one of the taxis he was in one-and-a-half weeks ago.
Mom did not question today Dad getting a ride from someone else, nor that she would get a ride tomorrow to her doctor's appointment. Now that the arrangements are being made in somewhat of a whirlwind, she does not even seem to be asking the question of why, and why does she need help driving. Hopefully the question will not come to her mind, or be answered sufficiently in some non-threatening way.
There is still a concern of Dad getting water and nourishment. We are still working for agreements and arrangements so hired help can work to help with that as well. Alternatively, if Dad can gain enough strength to get himself to the refrigerator and table himself, maybe the hired help will not need to worry about that part.
So praise God for the extra help, and Dad's improvement of today anyway.
Dr. Kent Brantly discharge statement shows a willing servant of God.
Praise God for His servants who are willing to risk their lives for the chance to save others' physical and spiritual lives.
I think these heroes need to be publicized, as this is a respectable American Dream.
May God continue to bless the world through America.
May God give wisdom to the medical and spiritual help from so many nations currently trying to help western Africa deal with this disease.
Dr. Kent Brantly's statements are available in text or in the video below.
I think these heroes need to be publicized, as this is a respectable American Dream.
May God continue to bless the world through America.
May God give wisdom to the medical and spiritual help from so many nations currently trying to help western Africa deal with this disease.
Dr. Kent Brantly's statements are available in text or in the video below.
Dad was weak from dehydration, chemo, maybe hunger. Still weak but sounds better. Hired help.
Wednesday on 8/13, when I had previously seen Dad, he seemed to be doing OK and taking some care of self in regards to liquids and eating.
On Monday, 8/18, Dad seemed very weak before we went to his chemo doctor's appointment.
Dad, if I read the scale right and remember right, lost over 5 pounds in one week. He no longer has extra weight to lose. Dad mentioned that he needs to eat more than the one meal a day he had been getting. The nurse also confirmed my suspicions that he was dehydrated. They gave him some fluids intravenously.
His tongue was dry and sore (likely in part due to dehydration). That made drinking and eating all the more difficult. Doctor gave him some medicine to numb his mouth to make eating and drinking easier. It seemed to help, but Dad barely had the strength and motivation to eat just a little bit. I am hoping that what he did eat, the fluid shots, and nutrition drinks, will revive him. I am also hoping that the home care will also help once set up. His visiting nurse will be sure to check and discuss nutrition and drinking fluids with Dad when she visits tomorrow, 8/21.
The meeting with Affordable HomeCare went well. Dad decided to sign up, and Mom did not protest. The first session is Monday, 8/25/2014.
Affordable HomeCare is willing to help with transportation, grocery shopping, and much more. The limiting factor is more likely to be my parents than their willingness. The main limitation is anything remotely medical is not allowed. They will start out with a plan for primarily transportation related days / activities. I have hopes that my parents will get more comfortable with other items such as pill reminders, dish washing, laundry, whatever my parents will accept.
Dad yesterday was talking positively of the service. Mom seemed OK with it until Dad suggested, among other things, that they could do grocery shopping for them. She was very upset with that idea. Cousin Sean tried to convince her that they will not do anything she does not want. They will treat her like a rock star. During the introduction meeting we had mentioned them going shopping with her, and taking over when she gets tired. That was fine. But she does not want to stop going to the grocery store. That is her time away from the house. Thankfully, the HomeCare team seem to understand the desires of people to do as much as they can, and only be there to help as requested.
Dad is having trouble getting up from seats. Including toilet seats.
Monday night, 8/18, after waiting for 3 hours of Dad trying to get himself up, Mom finally called the fire department to help.
We are awaiting a toilet seat booster on back-order from a catalog, currently estimated for end of the month. Cousin Sean said he might be able to get one from a relative who no longer needs it.
Yesterday he was able to get up out of seats three or four times with great effort. However, the 5th time he needed Cousin Sean's help.
Mom's surgery for her nose skin cancer went well yesterday, 8/19.
She has a big bandage on her nose. She feels kind of awkward about it. She is self-conscious and is not crazy about going outside with it, since she looks funny in her opinion. She should keep it on for 48 hours.
On Monday, 8/18, Dad seemed very weak before we went to his chemo doctor's appointment.
Dad, if I read the scale right and remember right, lost over 5 pounds in one week. He no longer has extra weight to lose. Dad mentioned that he needs to eat more than the one meal a day he had been getting. The nurse also confirmed my suspicions that he was dehydrated. They gave him some fluids intravenously.
His tongue was dry and sore (likely in part due to dehydration). That made drinking and eating all the more difficult. Doctor gave him some medicine to numb his mouth to make eating and drinking easier. It seemed to help, but Dad barely had the strength and motivation to eat just a little bit. I am hoping that what he did eat, the fluid shots, and nutrition drinks, will revive him. I am also hoping that the home care will also help once set up. His visiting nurse will be sure to check and discuss nutrition and drinking fluids with Dad when she visits tomorrow, 8/21.
The meeting with Affordable HomeCare went well. Dad decided to sign up, and Mom did not protest. The first session is Monday, 8/25/2014.
Affordable HomeCare is willing to help with transportation, grocery shopping, and much more. The limiting factor is more likely to be my parents than their willingness. The main limitation is anything remotely medical is not allowed. They will start out with a plan for primarily transportation related days / activities. I have hopes that my parents will get more comfortable with other items such as pill reminders, dish washing, laundry, whatever my parents will accept.
Dad yesterday was talking positively of the service. Mom seemed OK with it until Dad suggested, among other things, that they could do grocery shopping for them. She was very upset with that idea. Cousin Sean tried to convince her that they will not do anything she does not want. They will treat her like a rock star. During the introduction meeting we had mentioned them going shopping with her, and taking over when she gets tired. That was fine. But she does not want to stop going to the grocery store. That is her time away from the house. Thankfully, the HomeCare team seem to understand the desires of people to do as much as they can, and only be there to help as requested.
Dad is having trouble getting up from seats. Including toilet seats.
Monday night, 8/18, after waiting for 3 hours of Dad trying to get himself up, Mom finally called the fire department to help.
We are awaiting a toilet seat booster on back-order from a catalog, currently estimated for end of the month. Cousin Sean said he might be able to get one from a relative who no longer needs it.
Yesterday he was able to get up out of seats three or four times with great effort. However, the 5th time he needed Cousin Sean's help.
Mom's surgery for her nose skin cancer went well yesterday, 8/19.
She has a big bandage on her nose. She feels kind of awkward about it. She is self-conscious and is not crazy about going outside with it, since she looks funny in her opinion. She should keep it on for 48 hours.
Taxi working for my Dad; Also considering hired home care help.
Dad has taken a taxi 3 times now. He is OK with taking one to and from his blood test tomorrow. He does still feel it is expensive, and is tempted to try driving.
Mom has not ridden with him, and also has not thrown as much of a temper tantrum about it as she did in the past.
Dad and Mom both seem to be doing OK, but both wish they could do more physically.
Monday, 8/18/2014 PM I have invited a home care help service to the house to offer more help to my parents. Basically, I expect they will give their sales pitch to Dad and Mom. We will see if Mom is accepting of it... Dad is not too hopeful, based on how Mom has forced away so much of the help that was offered by family. However, Cousin Sean and I can not spend all our time over there. I also worry that Dad will feel it is too expensive, as the service is not cheap. However, I think it is a good option for near term transportation needs, and gives more options if they ever need more extensive help in the future. Also, considering all they are willing to do, the price seems not unreasonable for hired help.
Mom today asked me if I was in trouble at work. She then asked why the work does not realize that I have family that needs help. She does not seem to understand how much time I have already been spending, how much time is still needed for many more months, and that workplaces can not just keep fully paying employees forever for only working half time. I have been very thankful at the flexibility and understanding my workplace has already given.
Mom has not ridden with him, and also has not thrown as much of a temper tantrum about it as she did in the past.
Dad and Mom both seem to be doing OK, but both wish they could do more physically.
Monday, 8/18/2014 PM I have invited a home care help service to the house to offer more help to my parents. Basically, I expect they will give their sales pitch to Dad and Mom. We will see if Mom is accepting of it... Dad is not too hopeful, based on how Mom has forced away so much of the help that was offered by family. However, Cousin Sean and I can not spend all our time over there. I also worry that Dad will feel it is too expensive, as the service is not cheap. However, I think it is a good option for near term transportation needs, and gives more options if they ever need more extensive help in the future. Also, considering all they are willing to do, the price seems not unreasonable for hired help.
Mom today asked me if I was in trouble at work. She then asked why the work does not realize that I have family that needs help. She does not seem to understand how much time I have already been spending, how much time is still needed for many more months, and that workplaces can not just keep fully paying employees forever for only working half time. I have been very thankful at the flexibility and understanding my workplace has already given.
Much bickering, but seems healthy physically.
Today there were quite a few bickering and arguments between my parents and sometimes myself. However, some times of relative peace too. So both of them have some degree of energy and health.
Dad's chemo is going uneventfully.
Below is mainly just rambling on on emotional health. Physical health of them both is pretty much unchanged.
Dad's chemo is going uneventfully.
Below is mainly just rambling on on emotional health. Physical health of them both is pretty much unchanged.
Dad is home, and to restart chemo.
Dad decided to go home rather than to a rehab nursing home, mainly because the health insurance would cover either chemotherapy or nursing home, but not both. If Dad is healthy enough to go out to chemo treatments, he is too healthy for the nursing home. Dad chose to continue the chemo treatments, which restart Friday, 8/8/2014.
Mom is very glad to have Dad at home again.
Dad's back was hurting him quite severely tonight, which he attributes to having been stuck in bed a lot at the hospital. He is focused on regaining strength by eating 3 meals a day. He is hoping Mom will wake him up when she gets up, and then he'll be able to eat all 3 meals at fairly normal times. Because Dad has no appetite, he has to force himself to eat, which takes a lot longer (an hour for a peanut butter sandwich), but he gets the food down.
While Dad is very thankful for the help he got at the hospital, he told the staff as he left that he hopes to come next time as a visitor rather than as a patient.
Mom is very glad to have Dad at home again.
Dad's back was hurting him quite severely tonight, which he attributes to having been stuck in bed a lot at the hospital. He is focused on regaining strength by eating 3 meals a day. He is hoping Mom will wake him up when she gets up, and then he'll be able to eat all 3 meals at fairly normal times. Because Dad has no appetite, he has to force himself to eat, which takes a lot longer (an hour for a peanut butter sandwich), but he gets the food down.
While Dad is very thankful for the help he got at the hospital, he told the staff as he left that he hopes to come next time as a visitor rather than as a patient.
Dad much better, and considering nursing home for next step. Mom feels home spooky alone.
Dad looks and is much better, both physically and emotionally.
Dad's doctor asked what he thought about spending some time in a rest home. Dad thinks it might help. So Dad is thinking of going to a rehab/nursing home until he can take care of himself. He feels he tried going home and having Mom take care of him, but she & he could not handle it. Mom felt sad that she could not. She could understand that she was not giving him good cooked meals, and blames herself some for that. She could not understand so well that Dad needed to be woken up to get pills and meals at certain times of day. In her words, when she tried that, Dad bit her head off. We said that the nursing home workers have thicker skin.
Dad's doctor asked what he thought about spending some time in a rest home. Dad thinks it might help. So Dad is thinking of going to a rehab/nursing home until he can take care of himself. He feels he tried going home and having Mom take care of him, but she & he could not handle it. Mom felt sad that she could not. She could understand that she was not giving him good cooked meals, and blames herself some for that. She could not understand so well that Dad needed to be woken up to get pills and meals at certain times of day. In her words, when she tried that, Dad bit her head off. We said that the nursing home workers have thicker skin.
Dad hospitalized due to dehydration and nausea
Dad had not left bed the last couple days. His cold and sickness had not gotten better. He said he had not been getting food or drink either. However, he also said that he had spilled his water earlier that day. So I am not completely sure. In any case, his nausea resulted in him missing his pills for a couple days.
Mom called me to visit at Dad's request today. Dad had a pain in his side, and wanted a nurse's opinion. He feared a problem with the stent between his bladder and kidney.
The nurse, by phone, hearing the symptoms suspected at least dehydration, and recommended taking Dad to the hospital. The nurse also (as others have done) expressed how sweet my parents were. The nurse was one that had treated my mother at rehab, and was key in my parents selecting their home nursing service. So I was able to tell the nurse my parents had been greatly appreciating her help.
So Dad was admitted, and due to the nausea not allowing him to keep food down, he will be there at least overnight.
His white blood cell count is high, so the doctor fears it is a sign of infection. However it could also be due to his chemo treatments. They took some scans to try to identify the pain in the side, and if the stent was OK.
Once he got some intravenous fluid in him, he started to look better. He also seemed in less pain and discomfort from nausea by the time we left. He still was disheartened, and feels no use to Mom. One of the items given was methylphenidate (Ritalin), which was given last time to Dad in the hospital, in an attempt to help him feel happier. Dad generally dislikes drugs with main purpose of mood altering, and his regular doctor told him he did not have to take it anymore. However, being his typical (get the most for the money)
self, he said he would keep taking it until the bottle he had was emptied.
Mom tried to encourage him that she still wants him around. She did her best to express to him that she still loves him dearly. Dad in return tried to encourage her to take care of herself and not to worry about him.
Mom called me to visit at Dad's request today. Dad had a pain in his side, and wanted a nurse's opinion. He feared a problem with the stent between his bladder and kidney.
The nurse, by phone, hearing the symptoms suspected at least dehydration, and recommended taking Dad to the hospital. The nurse also (as others have done) expressed how sweet my parents were. The nurse was one that had treated my mother at rehab, and was key in my parents selecting their home nursing service. So I was able to tell the nurse my parents had been greatly appreciating her help.
So Dad was admitted, and due to the nausea not allowing him to keep food down, he will be there at least overnight.
His white blood cell count is high, so the doctor fears it is a sign of infection. However it could also be due to his chemo treatments. They took some scans to try to identify the pain in the side, and if the stent was OK.
Once he got some intravenous fluid in him, he started to look better. He also seemed in less pain and discomfort from nausea by the time we left. He still was disheartened, and feels no use to Mom. One of the items given was methylphenidate (Ritalin), which was given last time to Dad in the hospital, in an attempt to help him feel happier. Dad generally dislikes drugs with main purpose of mood altering, and his regular doctor told him he did not have to take it anymore. However, being his typical (get the most for the money)
self, he said he would keep taking it until the bottle he had was emptied.
Mom tried to encourage him that she still wants him around. She did her best to express to him that she still loves him dearly. Dad in return tried to encourage her to take care of herself and not to worry about him.
Dad surviving a cold.
It seems my parents are basically the same, with same or very similar challenges.
Dad is weaker again, perhaps due to a cold that he has been fighting. The cold seems to be breaking up, but he is weakened. His back was also bothering him for an unknown reason.
Dad is weaker again, perhaps due to a cold that he has been fighting. The cold seems to be breaking up, but he is weakened. His back was also bothering him for an unknown reason.
Dad is better but still feeling weak. He and Mom seem to be doing OK at home.
Dad is likely weak because of the cancer, not because of poor nutrition, according to his cancer doctor.
After a day of riding and walking into doctor appointments, he did not feel up to trying to drive. At first he had thought he would try it again, but decided against it.
Dad commented that he is not used to getting winded so easily.
At the urologist, it was explained that if the chemotherapy eliminates the liver cancer, and reduces the bladder cancer, then only a portion of the bladder can be removed to get the rest of the cancer.
It will be quite a few months before the results of chemotherapy will be found out.
After a day of riding and walking into doctor appointments, he did not feel up to trying to drive. At first he had thought he would try it again, but decided against it.
Dad commented that he is not used to getting winded so easily.
At the urologist, it was explained that if the chemotherapy eliminates the liver cancer, and reduces the bladder cancer, then only a portion of the bladder can be removed to get the rest of the cancer.
It will be quite a few months before the results of chemotherapy will be found out.
Dad encouraged not to give up, and to get nourishment.
Dad this morning was looking weak, but better than he has been at times.
Mom this morning was sore from a trip / fall she had last Wednesday that really banged up her knee. So she stayed home while Dad and I went to meet with the cancer doctor and do some shopping. Mom was also a bit sad because her memory loss issues were apparent to her this morning.
The cancer doctor said that there is a chance of remission of cancer. However, he will not know for quite a while how much of a chance. This was good encouragement to Dad to keep trying to live, so he can keep taking care of Mom. He seems to feel that Mom's memory condition is such that she would need to be moved into assisted living, which he knows she would resist.
Based on my guess that nutrition was part of Dad's current weakness, the doctor ordered him to drink two nutrition drinks a day.
In past his medicine was such that he could not have them, since they contained vitamin K. Now his medicine is such that there is no problem.
Dad is considering starting to take taxis, so he will not feel as much of a bother to Cousin Sean and I. He feels the senior bus system would not wait for him. I have convinced him that taxis are more patient, but he still worries that he would have to hurry out.
By the time he got home, Dad was looking a lot better. His mind got distracted off himself onto the day's mail, and seemed to perk up quite a bit.
When Dad was back home settled in his chair, Mom and Dad started bickering about a couple of long running disagreements, Mom's ability to drive, and Dad's desire for cooked meals eaten together. Previously Dad had said he would be happy when Mom was yelling at him, cause then he would know she is OK. I think they are both more OK than they have been in a while. Still, I wish they could learn to relate better without focusing on and discussing their dissapointments.
I left them with Mom preparing a simple dinner for them, and their bickering having been let go of for a while anyway.
Mom this morning was sore from a trip / fall she had last Wednesday that really banged up her knee. So she stayed home while Dad and I went to meet with the cancer doctor and do some shopping. Mom was also a bit sad because her memory loss issues were apparent to her this morning.
The cancer doctor said that there is a chance of remission of cancer. However, he will not know for quite a while how much of a chance. This was good encouragement to Dad to keep trying to live, so he can keep taking care of Mom. He seems to feel that Mom's memory condition is such that she would need to be moved into assisted living, which he knows she would resist.
Based on my guess that nutrition was part of Dad's current weakness, the doctor ordered him to drink two nutrition drinks a day.
In past his medicine was such that he could not have them, since they contained vitamin K. Now his medicine is such that there is no problem.
Dad is considering starting to take taxis, so he will not feel as much of a bother to Cousin Sean and I. He feels the senior bus system would not wait for him. I have convinced him that taxis are more patient, but he still worries that he would have to hurry out.
By the time he got home, Dad was looking a lot better. His mind got distracted off himself onto the day's mail, and seemed to perk up quite a bit.
When Dad was back home settled in his chair, Mom and Dad started bickering about a couple of long running disagreements, Mom's ability to drive, and Dad's desire for cooked meals eaten together. Previously Dad had said he would be happy when Mom was yelling at him, cause then he would know she is OK. I think they are both more OK than they have been in a while. Still, I wish they could learn to relate better without focusing on and discussing their dissapointments.
I left them with Mom preparing a simple dinner for them, and their bickering having been let go of for a while anyway.
Dad home after third surgery!
Dad was released from hospital today. He was very appreciative of all they did for him, with no complaints about the quality of care.
The surgery yesterday was quite painful, but today it did not hurt Dad as much. The stent was successfully installed providing a path between his one kidney to his bladder. He is very glad it worked well today.
Dad was very slow walking, and is feeling weak. Dad thinks he will not be of any use to Mom for a few days. Mom is just very glad to have him at home.
Now Dad has lots of follow-up doctor visits, but he gets to do them based at home.
Mom's nose skin cancer surgery is Monday, so I pray that goes well.
It has been a busy medical month. God has provided well so far.
Dad's second surgery did not work. 3rd tomorrow.
Dad's surgery today ended up starting at 5pm. It still did not get a stent in the place it is desired to be to correct the flow issue. He will have to go in again tomorrow.
Since this will be the third time, I have less hope that he'll be home the same day as the surgery. However, I pray that he is able to come home Friday, to make things easier on Mom and me.
Mom and Dad were not able to visit or talk today. Because of the surgery, we did not think a visit would be possible. Dad does not like the phone, so when Mom called the room, he probably did not answer it, or maybe he was unable to at the time due to the surgery.
Mom's memory combined with being in the house alone seems to make time pass very slowly for her. She thinks some things have been many days, when it has only been a day or two. When items are tied to a specific date, she can refer to the calendar and realize otherwise. However, most items are just a long time ago in her mind.
Mom is very frustrated with her promise to Dad to not drive. She has said she will never promise that again.
Alas, her memory seems to be stuck on the bitter memories about people rather than the good. Thankfully, she still strongly desires to have Dad around, and to be near him.
Since this will be the third time, I have less hope that he'll be home the same day as the surgery. However, I pray that he is able to come home Friday, to make things easier on Mom and me.
Mom and Dad were not able to visit or talk today. Because of the surgery, we did not think a visit would be possible. Dad does not like the phone, so when Mom called the room, he probably did not answer it, or maybe he was unable to at the time due to the surgery.
Mom's memory combined with being in the house alone seems to make time pass very slowly for her. She thinks some things have been many days, when it has only been a day or two. When items are tied to a specific date, she can refer to the calendar and realize otherwise. However, most items are just a long time ago in her mind.
Mom is very frustrated with her promise to Dad to not drive. She has said she will never promise that again.
Alas, her memory seems to be stuck on the bitter memories about people rather than the good. Thankfully, she still strongly desires to have Dad around, and to be near him.
Per Cousin Sean: Dad to have surgery tomorrow
A couple quick messages passed along by my Cousin Sean:
"Your dad was in great spirits yesterday! We had a nice long visit. I went down to the cafeteria and brought your mom dinner just around the same time your dad's dinner came in. They were able to have dinner together. I may be a bit sappy but I thought it to be very nice.
"Your dad will go back in for surgery tomorrow to have a stent from his kidney to his bladder. They tried today however it did not seat properly. They will put him under anesthesia as the pain was too much. They are saying if all goes well he can be released tomorrow."
"Your dad was in great spirits yesterday! We had a nice long visit. I went down to the cafeteria and brought your mom dinner just around the same time your dad's dinner came in. They were able to have dinner together. I may be a bit sappy but I thought it to be very nice.
"Your dad will go back in for surgery tomorrow to have a stent from his kidney to his bladder. They tried today however it did not seat properly. They will put him under anesthesia as the pain was too much. They are saying if all goes well he can be released tomorrow."
A package encouraged Mom today! Praise God
Thank You Lord for friends like Korey, and the technology and infrastructure to keep in touch, and be recipients of surprising acts of kindness.
A little letter and small trinket shipped to her really perked up my Mom's otherwise gloomy day, the first without a visit to Dad in the hospital.
God used the package carrier and a friend's kindness to deliver it at just the right time.
A little letter and small trinket shipped to her really perked up my Mom's otherwise gloomy day, the first without a visit to Dad in the hospital.
God used the package carrier and a friend's kindness to deliver it at just the right time.
Today's surgery went well, but not as well as hoped. Planning a follow up surgery, probably tomorrow, to provide for urine flow.
The urologist finished operating on Dad by 9:00am today. He was able to scrape out more (most? all?) of the tumor from inside Dad's bladder. He was not able to put in a stent during this operation as hoped.
There was a back-up of urine in the system, which is now getting flushed out by a saline solution flowing through Dad's bladder. Dad has a catheter as part of this. However, the nurse told me that he seems comfortable. This is a big change from Dad's last catheter experience, which was painful.
Next Dad will have surgery to add a stent or tube, if I understand right, through the back to the bladder, to allow urine to flow. This might happen as early as tomorrow morning.
A big thanks to Cousin Sean who will volunteered to transport Mom to and from the hospital most days this week.
There was a back-up of urine in the system, which is now getting flushed out by a saline solution flowing through Dad's bladder. Dad has a catheter as part of this. However, the nurse told me that he seems comfortable. This is a big change from Dad's last catheter experience, which was painful.
Next Dad will have surgery to add a stent or tube, if I understand right, through the back to the bladder, to allow urine to flow. This might happen as early as tomorrow morning.
A big thanks to Cousin Sean who will volunteered to transport Mom to and from the hospital most days this week.
Dad expecting surgery on Monday, 7/14/2014
Dad is having bowel movements again.
His white blood cell count also seems to be improving enough that they think he will have surgery for putting in a stent sometime Monday.
Dad still has no appetite but has been forcing himself to eat the food he is being brought.
He still has no pain, but suspects it is part due to pain killers. One type of food gives him heartburn, but he feels it as a pressure, not as a pain.
His white blood cell count also seems to be improving enough that they think he will have surgery for putting in a stent sometime Monday.
Dad still has no appetite but has been forcing himself to eat the food he is being brought.
He still has no pain, but suspects it is part due to pain killers. One type of food gives him heartburn, but he feels it as a pressure, not as a pain.
Dad resting better, awaiting better white blood cell count
The urinary tract infection is reducing. As a result, Dad is able to urinate a bit better. That means he is able to go longer between times. So rather than getting up every 15 minutes at night, he was able to sleep for a few hours at a time. This made him look better, and he seemed less emotional as well.
He is still constipated, and his body has not responded to the laxatives given for this.
He is walking well still. He walked too fast for the short nurse who escorted him around the floor hallways.
The antibiotics should improve the white blood cell count situation, so Dad can get his surgery done early next week. They delayed it at the last moment because with the low white blood cell count (at least for the ones that fight external infection), they were afraid of galloping bacteria spreading infection.
He is still constipated, and his body has not responded to the laxatives given for this.
He is walking well still. He walked too fast for the short nurse who escorted him around the floor hallways.
The antibiotics should improve the white blood cell count situation, so Dad can get his surgery done early next week. They delayed it at the last moment because with the low white blood cell count (at least for the ones that fight external infection), they were afraid of galloping bacteria spreading infection.
Dad to have surgery Friday 7/11/2014.
The doctors seem to have decided Dad can have his surgery tomorrow, Friday.
If I understand right, it is to have his bladder scraped out, a stent put in to improve flow, and to drain fluid from his kidney.
It will probably be in the morning.
Depending on how scan says things look inside, they'll go in from the front or maybe from the back, which is worse.
If I understand right, it is to have his bladder scraped out, a stent put in to improve flow, and to drain fluid from his kidney.
It will probably be in the morning.
Depending on how scan says things look inside, they'll go in from the front or maybe from the back, which is worse.
Dad to get stent in urinary tract to help with infection and tumor blockage
Mom did not think Dad looked in very good shape yesterday.
Dad is still having trouble resting due to frequently urinating small amounts.
This is due to both the tumor blocking things up and urinary tract infection.
The urinary tract infection seems resistant to the first antibiotic they gave, so they are using another now.
The doctors want to put in a stent to provide a path from the bladder out.
However, they have to wait until some of Dad's regular medications, such as blood thinners, are out of his system.
Work to clear out Dad's urinary tract was originally scheduled for 7/11, Friday, even before the recent issues. However, due to some misunderstanding, I cancelled it. Therefore Dad did not stop taking the blood thinners earlier. Dad thought the 7/11 surgery was to remove his bladder, and he knew that since there was cancer on the liver that removal was not a near term step.
Because of worries of the infection spreading to others, Dad was moved to a private room. That is a bit of worry for his claustrophobia. Hopefully the window and open door will be enough to keep him comfortable.
Also because of worry of infection, Mom is not supposed to touch nor kiss Dad now. That adds to the sadness.
Dad is very sad, in part because he worries greatly about Mom.
Dad seemed encouraged by the visits of family.
Thanks to Aunt Vera and Cousin Sean who have taken time out of their previously scheduled lives to take Mom to the hospital so far this week.
I plan on taking Mom today at around 2pm.
Dad is still having trouble resting due to frequently urinating small amounts.
This is due to both the tumor blocking things up and urinary tract infection.
The urinary tract infection seems resistant to the first antibiotic they gave, so they are using another now.
The doctors want to put in a stent to provide a path from the bladder out.
However, they have to wait until some of Dad's regular medications, such as blood thinners, are out of his system.
Work to clear out Dad's urinary tract was originally scheduled for 7/11, Friday, even before the recent issues. However, due to some misunderstanding, I cancelled it. Therefore Dad did not stop taking the blood thinners earlier. Dad thought the 7/11 surgery was to remove his bladder, and he knew that since there was cancer on the liver that removal was not a near term step.
Because of worries of the infection spreading to others, Dad was moved to a private room. That is a bit of worry for his claustrophobia. Hopefully the window and open door will be enough to keep him comfortable.
Also because of worry of infection, Mom is not supposed to touch nor kiss Dad now. That adds to the sadness.
Dad is very sad, in part because he worries greatly about Mom.
Dad seemed encouraged by the visits of family.
Thanks to Aunt Vera and Cousin Sean who have taken time out of their previously scheduled lives to take Mom to the hospital so far this week.
I plan on taking Mom today at around 2pm.
Dad much more comfortable after chemo and hospital admission
This morning Dad looked bad and was very shaky. He was wondering if to cancel chemo or not.
He was convinced to go.
He got chemo, including hydration, and including comfort drugs that normally would not get because he usually drives himself.
He was told to go to the hospital, which he did not like. However, he did.
He is now in South Macomb hospital, fifth floor. Dad is in the hospital due to lack of recent digestion movement. Almost none in, no solids out, very little liquid. The hospital will work to make sure he is not blocked up inside. They are wanting to get food and drink input and output working well again.
By the time he got settled in a hospital bed, Dad looked a lot better. Everything seems fine now, at least comparatively. When Mom left the hospital today, Dad looked and sounded comfortable, and said he felt OK. That is something he had not been for a few days, at least.
Mom seems to understand that she should not be driving alone with her short term memory loss. She feels taxis are outrageously expensive, so we'll have to taxi her to/from the hospital for visits while trying to teach her that professional taxis are not so bad.
He was convinced to go.
He got chemo, including hydration, and including comfort drugs that normally would not get because he usually drives himself.
He was told to go to the hospital, which he did not like. However, he did.
He is now in South Macomb hospital, fifth floor. Dad is in the hospital due to lack of recent digestion movement. Almost none in, no solids out, very little liquid. The hospital will work to make sure he is not blocked up inside. They are wanting to get food and drink input and output working well again.
By the time he got settled in a hospital bed, Dad looked a lot better. Everything seems fine now, at least comparatively. When Mom left the hospital today, Dad looked and sounded comfortable, and said he felt OK. That is something he had not been for a few days, at least.
Mom seems to understand that she should not be driving alone with her short term memory loss. She feels taxis are outrageously expensive, so we'll have to taxi her to/from the hospital for visits while trying to teach her that professional taxis are not so bad.
Dad losing hope; Mom coping
Dad seems to have no hope, or is losing what little hope he has, of recovery right now.
With the aggressive liver cancer, the chemotherapy has been harsher. As a result Dad has been feeling it, unlike before. He has been sicker than a dog the last couple days. He is thinner again, due to poor nourishment.
With the aggressive liver cancer, the chemotherapy has been harsher. As a result Dad has been feeling it, unlike before. He has been sicker than a dog the last couple days. He is thinner again, due to poor nourishment.
Mom's skin surgery on 7/21. Dad awaiting test results.
Mom's skin on nose surgery is now scheduled for 7/21.
Thanks much to Cousin Sean for the help.
Dad went on 6/26, Thursday, for the bone density test. However, he will not get the results for a few days.
My parents agreed with Cousin Sean that time is too short and precious to spend it mad and arguing. They are going to to work on not complaining about the other.
Thanks much to Cousin Sean for the help.
Dad went on 6/26, Thursday, for the bone density test. However, he will not get the results for a few days.
My parents agreed with Cousin Sean that time is too short and precious to spend it mad and arguing. They are going to to work on not complaining about the other.
Dad's cataract surgery went fine
Dad went through surgery for his one cataract, and it went OK.
Mom's regular doctor appointment today went normally.
They feel everything is going OK.
Dad feels only problem is figuring out when to get Mom's skin cancer of the nose taken care of.
Mom's regular doctor appointment today went normally.
They feel everything is going OK.
Dad feels only problem is figuring out when to get Mom's skin cancer of the nose taken care of.
Parents better emotionally, but Dad has aggressive liver cancer and Mom awaiting skin cancer removal.
My parents seem to be getting along quite a bit better than two weeks ago. When I visited Friday evening they were not bickering near as much as previously. Dad got frustrated over a couple items, but the conversation did not linger nor escalate over them.
Mom and Dad greatly appreciated the visits from Cousin Sean and Uncle Chuck and Aunt Luise this past week.
Dad's medical diagnosis is now more challenging.
They went to the doctor Friday, 6/20/2014. The biopsy revealed an aggressive liver cancer. If no treatment were given, the estimate is that Dad would live for about six months. There are now many more frequent treatments on the schedule than there were for the bladder cancer.
Mom and Dad greatly appreciated the visits from Cousin Sean and Uncle Chuck and Aunt Luise this past week.
Dad's medical diagnosis is now more challenging.
They went to the doctor Friday, 6/20/2014. The biopsy revealed an aggressive liver cancer. If no treatment were given, the estimate is that Dad would live for about six months. There are now many more frequent treatments on the schedule than there were for the bladder cancer.
Parents struggling with frustrations about each other more than medical issues
After my visit with my parents Friday night, I again felt that their medical issues, while serious, are less of an immediate concern than their learning to get along.
The new medical issue is that Dad has a growth on his liver. A biopsy to see if it is cancer is scheduled for 6/13.
The new medical issue is that Dad has a growth on his liver. A biopsy to see if it is cancer is scheduled for 6/13.
Relatively minor surgeries coming up for my parents
I visited my parents Friday night, and they let me know about their upcoming surgeries.
Mom's nose scab is skin cancer. Her doctor was not too concerned, but she does need the growth to be taken off. It had not yet been scheduled as of Friday night.
Dad's chemo has progressed to the point where it is time for his bladder to be removed and replaced with an external bag.
He needs a CAT scan and his regular doctor's approval first, due to the long running concern over his heart. When he does have it done, he is expected to be hospitalized for around five days.
The only surgery with a date so far is on 6/23/2014. Dad is to have a cataract removed from his right eye. The time of surgery to be decided and given by phone on 6/20.
Mom's nose scab is skin cancer. Her doctor was not too concerned, but she does need the growth to be taken off. It had not yet been scheduled as of Friday night.
Dad's chemo has progressed to the point where it is time for his bladder to be removed and replaced with an external bag.
He needs a CAT scan and his regular doctor's approval first, due to the long running concern over his heart. When he does have it done, he is expected to be hospitalized for around five days.
The only surgery with a date so far is on 6/23/2014. Dad is to have a cataract removed from his right eye. The time of surgery to be decided and given by phone on 6/20.
Parents both doing OK, awaiting relatively minor medical decisions
My parents are both managing on own fairly well.
I was able to visit them yesterday.
They have likely relatively minor medical items coming up, and seem fairly well adjusted to the new regular routines.
I was able to visit them yesterday.
They have likely relatively minor medical items coming up, and seem fairly well adjusted to the new regular routines.
Dad and Mom seem OK, going smooth for moment
Dad's pain is gone. However, he is wanting to get off the pain killer medicine. He feels his mind is affected, and is on the edge of being mentally unstable. However, he has seemed to be mentally fine so far.
The elimination of pain has allowed Dad to be up and about normally. We did a test drive where he drove and I was the passenger, and he did fine. So he is comfortable driving to the doctor by himself now.
While visiting Dodge Park, Mom did not know what the name of a particular bird was. I had to tell her it was a duck.
That seems extremely odd, since the rest of her vocabulary seems normal.
Mom is greatly looking forward to getting her large tricycle back in operating condition. Uncle Robert took it to be repaired in his truck, and it is expected back Friday, 04/18/2014. Mom is fondly imagining riding around the local sidewalks on it. Thanks much to Uncle Robert for handling it.
My Aunt Vera and Cousin Sean are having a rough time of it right now. Aunt Vera has bad swelling of the legs after some operations on other areas.
Cousin Sean has pneumonia.
I pray they both recover quickly and can endure the suffering as best as possible.
I also praise God for the suffering Jesus the Christ suffered, in part so he could understand and empathize with others suffering.
The elimination of pain has allowed Dad to be up and about normally. We did a test drive where he drove and I was the passenger, and he did fine. So he is comfortable driving to the doctor by himself now.
While visiting Dodge Park, Mom did not know what the name of a particular bird was. I had to tell her it was a duck.
That seems extremely odd, since the rest of her vocabulary seems normal.
Mom is greatly looking forward to getting her large tricycle back in operating condition. Uncle Robert took it to be repaired in his truck, and it is expected back Friday, 04/18/2014. Mom is fondly imagining riding around the local sidewalks on it. Thanks much to Uncle Robert for handling it.
My Aunt Vera and Cousin Sean are having a rough time of it right now. Aunt Vera has bad swelling of the legs after some operations on other areas.
Cousin Sean has pneumonia.
I pray they both recover quickly and can endure the suffering as best as possible.
I also praise God for the suffering Jesus the Christ suffered, in part so he could understand and empathize with others suffering.
Dad is in less pain due to new pain medicine
Dad is improving, finally, because he has gotten some medicine that relieves the pain enough to help him sleep. It seems to help relieve some of the pain during the day.
Currently Dad is still not pain free enough to drive.
Also, at the chemo appointment on Friday, 4/4, he wobbled while walking once, and might have fallen had it not been for the quick action of the chemo nurse.
So the front stairs are still a risk.
Praise God though that with the improvements Dad has some realistic hopes again of recovery.
Currently Dad is still not pain free enough to drive.
Also, at the chemo appointment on Friday, 4/4, he wobbled while walking once, and might have fallen had it not been for the quick action of the chemo nurse.
So the front stairs are still a risk.
Praise God though that with the improvements Dad has some realistic hopes again of recovery.
Doctor told Mom she is not to drive. Dad's leg pain is not improving.
Mom drove to her doctor by herself today.
Mom did not seem to understand why Dad did not join her.
Dad is still very nervous about going up and down steps without supervision that can help in case he falls.
Also, Dad's leg pain is still severe when he is upright.
Mom did not seem to understand why Dad did not join her.
Dad is still very nervous about going up and down steps without supervision that can help in case he falls.
Also, Dad's leg pain is still severe when he is upright.
At the doctor visit, Mom was told that she should not be driving. Mom was and is very mad about that.
Dad's main issue currently is severe leg pain.
Dad was doing much better Sunday. His overall pain was minimal / bearable.
Monday Dad had a set-back. The pain in his leg got worse again. So he is
stuck in bed most of the time. He can sit up a few minutes before the pain
becomes too much. Then he has to lay down again to relieve the pain.
We have a hard time understanding how a clot could cause so much pain.
The chemo restarted today, and seemed to go well.
Mom enjoyed going to Hobby Lobby while Dad was
sitting under chemotherapy. She was glad to get out of the house. While
returning home, she had a bit of trouble managing her walker, and stated
something like that it is no wonder she does not go out of the house by herself.
My parents seem to be getting less on each others nerves as well. They both
are frustrated by Dad's leg pain, but that seems to be the only, or at least
main by far, issue taking their attention.
Monday Dad had a set-back. The pain in his leg got worse again. So he is
stuck in bed most of the time. He can sit up a few minutes before the pain
becomes too much. Then he has to lay down again to relieve the pain.
We have a hard time understanding how a clot could cause so much pain.
The chemo restarted today, and seemed to go well.
Mom enjoyed going to Hobby Lobby while Dad was
sitting under chemotherapy. She was glad to get out of the house. While
returning home, she had a bit of trouble managing her walker, and stated
something like that it is no wonder she does not go out of the house by herself.
My parents seem to be getting less on each others nerves as well. They both
are frustrated by Dad's leg pain, but that seems to be the only, or at least
main by far, issue taking their attention.
Mom and Dad getting on each others nerves. Both are relatively healthy, with chronic conditions.
Dad's leg strength is getting better, but probably still not what it was a few months ago.
Dad still does not trust the strength in his legs. However, he is getting around better. He is being careful, and I feel rightly so.
The clot in the leg seems to be getting gradually smaller, as it is supposed to. This guess is based on Dad's pain being steadily less than previously. He is now able to sit upright longer and longer.
Mom is about the same, and still frustrated at feeling trapped at home.
Dad still does not trust the strength in his legs. However, he is getting around better. He is being careful, and I feel rightly so.
The clot in the leg seems to be getting gradually smaller, as it is supposed to. This guess is based on Dad's pain being steadily less than previously. He is now able to sit upright longer and longer.
Mom is about the same, and still frustrated at feeling trapped at home.
Dad is home
Dad is home, but his legs are a bit weak. Hopefully now that he is not stuck in bed the strength will come back.
Monday he has a doctor's appointment to find out about restarting chemotherapy.
Monday he has a doctor's appointment to find out about restarting chemotherapy.
Dad's release target date in a day or two or three.
From my cousin Sean's checking up with the hospital, my Dad is not being discharged today. The medication he is on for the blood clots will take 2 or 3 days to get to a level needed for preventing future clots.
Hopefully the former confusion does not cause too much disappointment to Mom and especially Dad in his feeling of being trapped in a solitary room...
Hopefully the former confusion does not cause too much disappointment to Mom and especially Dad in his feeling of being trapped in a solitary room...
Harold Abbey hopefully out of hospital tomorrow, Monday
Dad is still in the hospital, and was going a little stir crazy until Aunt Vera and Mom visited this afternoon.
The current plan is that he will be able to come home Monday, 3/10/2014.
Mom's short term memory is about the same, causing challenges, and seems
to have stabilized. She frequently struggles with understanding why the
doctor does not want her to drive.
I praise God for His sustaining power and protection through all the recent challenges.
The current plan is that he will be able to come home Monday, 3/10/2014.
Mom's short term memory is about the same, causing challenges, and seems
to have stabilized. She frequently struggles with understanding why the
doctor does not want her to drive.
I praise God for His sustaining power and protection through all the recent challenges.
Dad's leg pain likely due to a clot in leg.
Dad is doing okay in hospital, but has had trouble with being stir- crazy, and even claustrophobia.
This afternoon a test result came in that he has a clot in his leg. So now they do not want him walking at all. Not even to the bathroom in his room.
They gave Dad some blood thinner. That should dissolve the clot.
An uncle of Jodi died from a clot in the leg from a car accident. He was recovering from the accident, when the clot moved to where it killed him.
Dad is aware of the danger of stroke or other issue.
Dad thinks Mom does not understand.
However Mom is worrying that they might send Dad home too soon.
So Mom will still have to have rides to the hospital.
Dad OK in hospital; bruised leg not broken
Dad's hospital visit was to make sure his bruised leg is OK.
While he is there, he is eating better than at home.
Dad now seems to be doing well in the hospital.
While he is there, he is eating better than at home.
Dad now seems to be doing well in the hospital.
Dad was home, but now wants to call 911
Dad was at home, eating somewhat normally.
He still has been having a lot of pain.
Now, he has just requested Mom to call 911 for him.
I do not know the details yet.
He still has been having a lot of pain.
Now, he has just requested Mom to call 911 for him.
I do not know the details yet.
Dad may go home tomorrow, or maybe not
Dad is improving, since he is getting nourishment now.
Today he had meatloaf for dinner without difficulty.
That is to say, the medicine they are giving him is helping so that he is not having any problems eating.
I am not sure if the types of medicine they are giving will be available for use at home or not.
As long as Dad can keep food down with whatever set up he will have at home, he can go home from the hospital tomorrow.
Thanks to cousin Sean, Mom has been able to visit Dad every evening. Mom seems to be doing well.
Dad will continue his chemotherapy treatments for his bladder cancer, and the less serious chronic high white blood cell count (which they label as some variety of leukemia).
Today he had meatloaf for dinner without difficulty.
That is to say, the medicine they are giving him is helping so that he is not having any problems eating.
I am not sure if the types of medicine they are giving will be available for use at home or not.
As long as Dad can keep food down with whatever set up he will have at home, he can go home from the hospital tomorrow.
Thanks to cousin Sean, Mom has been able to visit Dad every evening. Mom seems to be doing well.
Dad will continue his chemotherapy treatments for his bladder cancer, and the less serious chronic high white blood cell count (which they label as some variety of leukemia).
Status update
This sounds more of a change than it really is I think. The health situation seems about the same in my opinion.
I visited on Saturday, and Dad felt bad still. He has still been having trouble getting anything to stay down. Sometimes orange juice has been working. The Ensure nutrition shakes worked for a while, but mid or
late last week the sweetness started bothering him.
So when Dad would try to eat or drink, he would throw it back up. Even when not eating, his nasal mucus or some unknown item would sometimes cause him to have dry heaves.
He also had a bit of pain in his chest.
Mom was about the same. She is realizing her memory issues, and to accepting / appreciating help with certain items. However, she still is frustrated at times. Dad feels her memory is getting worse. For
instance, he reported that one time immediately after a nurse talked with her on the phone, Mom could not tell Dad what the conversation was about.
Dad has been able to urinate, so some fluids are still in him. His bladder is not filling up as it should, so he has to go nearly every hour. He has a prescription to help, but it often does not start taking effect for a week or two.
Sunday evening Dad had Mom dial a nurse to discuss his pain. He had not been able to sleep due to it (and the bathroom trips).
The nurse recommended going to the emergency room. The medical people never like to guess with chest pains. Heart attacks are too serious. Dad's pains are very likely a mix of heart-burn and hunger pangs.
The nurses confirmed Dad was dehydrated. The hospital started intravenously giving him fluids, and took some X-rays. Dad was admitted overnight.
Dad is worried about Mom. I tried to reassure him that she was fine alone last time he was in the hospital. However, he still worries.
Mom is worried about Dad. Leaving the hospital last night she was very tired, and as a result also emotional. Once she was home, and a clear plan for bed and for tomorrow, she was better.
I told Mom that she should wait at home, and the nurses would give her an update on Dad. She seemed to accept that.
The challenge is that I am leaving for a business trip in California, and plan to land back late Friday night. I will be relying on Cousin Sean to check up on my parents. I thank God that he has agreed to help, and has been a great friend to both my Mom and Dad.
[Morning update]
This morning, I called the nurses station at St. John's Macomb hospital.The morning update as of 7:45am was from the nurse is:
Dad is in room 519.
He received pain medication at 6:30am, and was sleeping a little while ago when the nurse checked in on him.
No discussions have been had yet, but the nurse is guessing Dad would not be released today. Maybe a couple days. Obviously, that depends on how well he does today, and what the diagnoses are.
My guess is that they will want to get him rehydrated at a minimum, and make sure he can keep liquids down.
Dad better in some ways, but struggling with chest pain and lack of food and water
Mom just called, with Dad.
Dad had just got off the phone with the medical service, and arranged a nurse to visit the house.
They had recommended he go to the emergency room for a check-up on what is going on, but he worries too much about Mom being left by herself overnight.
Dad has had pain fairly consistently all week, and in particular chest pain all last night and today. It kept him from sleeping almost all last night.
He suspects it is heart-burn, which he has had before. He has tried to take antacid, but could not keep it down.
He has been throwing up most foods and liquids. Nutrition shakes were working for about a week, but now the sweetness of them bother his stomach. He has been having dry heaves often as well.
So Dad is very discouraged from the lack of sleep and the lack of nourishment.
I am to take a trip to California all this week, so I will not be around to help them.
On the positive side, Dad's first round of chemo seemed to go well, without discomfort. Dad's nausea started before the chemo, so it is hard to blame it on that.
Please pray for wisdom for the family, nurses, and doctors.
Dad had just got off the phone with the medical service, and arranged a nurse to visit the house.
They had recommended he go to the emergency room for a check-up on what is going on, but he worries too much about Mom being left by herself overnight.
Dad has had pain fairly consistently all week, and in particular chest pain all last night and today. It kept him from sleeping almost all last night.
He suspects it is heart-burn, which he has had before. He has tried to take antacid, but could not keep it down.
He has been throwing up most foods and liquids. Nutrition shakes were working for about a week, but now the sweetness of them bother his stomach. He has been having dry heaves often as well.
So Dad is very discouraged from the lack of sleep and the lack of nourishment.
I am to take a trip to California all this week, so I will not be around to help them.
On the positive side, Dad's first round of chemo seemed to go well, without discomfort. Dad's nausea started before the chemo, so it is hard to blame it on that.
Please pray for wisdom for the family, nurses, and doctors.
Dad's minor surgery went well, and eating some
Dad's surgery yesterday, Friday 2/14/2014 went well. The port is now installed in his chest near his right shoulder. He seemed to be doing well today.
Dad had some anti-nausea medicine in preparation for the surgery. It helped him get some light food down without difficulty. He also got some nutrition supplement shake bottled drinks that helped give him nourishment in an easy to digest manner. He got some from a visiting case worker, myself, and Sean. So he went from needing some to having an over abundance! He was able to eat some light food last night and today without taking any more of the anti-nausea medicine. So hopefully his stomach will continue to be cooperative now that it is used to food again.
Dad and Mom are getting on each other's nerves again in a fairly big way.
Mom seems to feel like Dad does not feel she can do anything.
Dad seems to feel like Mom will not do many of the things he requests of her. She says later, and then later never comes. Mom also sometimes does not treat the visiting nurses well.
Dad and Mom are both frustrated with themselves because of their inability or doctor's orders to not do things that they used to do for themselves.
I am glad they are both well enough to be irritable about such things. I do hope they can learn to adjust to their limitations without too much frustration.
Dad had some anti-nausea medicine in preparation for the surgery. It helped him get some light food down without difficulty. He also got some nutrition supplement shake bottled drinks that helped give him nourishment in an easy to digest manner. He got some from a visiting case worker, myself, and Sean. So he went from needing some to having an over abundance! He was able to eat some light food last night and today without taking any more of the anti-nausea medicine. So hopefully his stomach will continue to be cooperative now that it is used to food again.
Dad and Mom are getting on each other's nerves again in a fairly big way.
Mom seems to feel like Dad does not feel she can do anything.
Dad seems to feel like Mom will not do many of the things he requests of her. She says later, and then later never comes. Mom also sometimes does not treat the visiting nurses well.
Dad and Mom are both frustrated with themselves because of their inability or doctor's orders to not do things that they used to do for themselves.
I am glad they are both well enough to be irritable about such things. I do hope they can learn to adjust to their limitations without too much frustration.
Dad not keeping much food down, and minor surgery scheduled for Friday.
Dad is having trouble keeping food down. He had milk and 2 slices of toast mid-day or so today, but threw up a bit of it. This evening he had some orange juice which seemed to stay down. Hopefully he'll be able to find foods that can increase his calorie intake.
He feels like he may be starting to get weak from the lack of nourishment. That makes getting to the store to try different foods a challenge.
Mom seems about the same or slightly better. Physically she seems fine. Mentally she still seems to have some memory issues.
Dad is scheduled to have surgery this Friday early morning. He will be getting the port installed which will allow the chemotherapy to be put into his veins.
Right now, Dad is miserable enough from the hunger / stomach discomfort that he at times hopes the surgery has some complication so that he does not make it.
Dad's misery is getting on Mom's nerves, but she has been holding together fairly well, biting her tongue on occasion.
Thanks for your prayers.
Oncologist optimistic
The oncologist (cancer doctor) was very encouraging.
The chemotherapy treatments have improved greatly over the last decade. The treatment Dad is scheduled for has been tested to show good results on older people, with little / no nausea nor pain.
Dad will get a port surgically installed. That will be put into his upper chest to allow the medicine to be more easily injected into his blood vessels.
He will have four or six months of chemotherapy, after which the bladder will be examined and possibly removed. The 4 or 6 depends on the results of a not yet scheduled CAT scan. The treatments will be one day a week getting 3 hours worth of medicine injected via the port, with a shorter visit the next day to check his status.
Dad should even be able to drive himself to and from the chemotherapy sessions! He may feel a little weak after the chemo gets into him, but should be able to get home without trouble.
Dad is looking and sounding better and better. He is still tender, but is no longer in pain. He is praising God that the he no longer has a catheter and that he can sit or ride in a car without pain.
Mom was occasionally very worried for Dad, but then was reassured. Her memory is such that she forgets items, so I worry that she may forget the reassurance that the bladder cancer is not as serious.
My Uncle Chuck called this afternoon, and was able to further encourage Dad. Uncle Chuck currently has a port installed as part of his chemotherapy, which has turned out well.
I think perhaps one of the biggest challenges remaining for my parents is dealing with the disappointment of growing older and less independent. Dad was told by the doctor he should no longer be shoveling snow, and he should take care of himself. Mom was saddened that she did not have a nice dinner on the table. I am very glad that their worries are focused on items that while are sad to realize, are very common and a normal part of aging.
The chemotherapy treatments have improved greatly over the last decade. The treatment Dad is scheduled for has been tested to show good results on older people, with little / no nausea nor pain.
Dad will get a port surgically installed. That will be put into his upper chest to allow the medicine to be more easily injected into his blood vessels.
He will have four or six months of chemotherapy, after which the bladder will be examined and possibly removed. The 4 or 6 depends on the results of a not yet scheduled CAT scan. The treatments will be one day a week getting 3 hours worth of medicine injected via the port, with a shorter visit the next day to check his status.
Dad should even be able to drive himself to and from the chemotherapy sessions! He may feel a little weak after the chemo gets into him, but should be able to get home without trouble.
Dad is looking and sounding better and better. He is still tender, but is no longer in pain. He is praising God that the he no longer has a catheter and that he can sit or ride in a car without pain.
Mom was occasionally very worried for Dad, but then was reassured. Her memory is such that she forgets items, so I worry that she may forget the reassurance that the bladder cancer is not as serious.
My Uncle Chuck called this afternoon, and was able to further encourage Dad. Uncle Chuck currently has a port installed as part of his chemotherapy, which has turned out well.
I think perhaps one of the biggest challenges remaining for my parents is dealing with the disappointment of growing older and less independent. Dad was told by the doctor he should no longer be shoveling snow, and he should take care of himself. Mom was saddened that she did not have a nice dinner on the table. I am very glad that their worries are focused on items that while are sad to realize, are very common and a normal part of aging.
Praise God for modern medicine and the kindness of medical practitioners.
Transportation challenges should improve for a while, but then what?
Dad has hopes of driving himself again fairly soon.
One of the areas wisdom will be needed is how to get Dad (and Mom) to and from all the upcoming visits to doctors. I have been able to take personal time off days so far, but I have a limited number of days. So wisdom when to take them is needed.
Mom's short term memory loss is still severe enough that it would be a concern of her driving. She forgets some things (but not everything) after a few minutes, and forgetting where she is driving to would not be good.
Dad had hoped from the outset of the expected to be outpatient surgery that he would be driving himself right away. Today the primary care physician told us that Dad can drive once some conditions are met. Dad should be pain free enough to comfortably sit to drive, and to be no longer taking the pain killing medication that also induces drowsiness.
So we have hopes now that the catheter is out, Dad will recover quickly.
However, tomorrow I imagine we will learn that the coming chemotherapy will wipe him out enough that driving again will be out of the question...
We have also considered taxis, and taxi-like services focused on medical transport. However, having had no experience, it is hard to know what would be usable.
Aunt Vera in the past has been a great help in this manner. However, her own health issues and other family obligations limited what she could do recently. Now I am hesitant to directly ask again, unless it can be part of a rotation or some other load sharing method.
Cousin Sean has already expressed willingness to help with this or other things, even while I was writing this, and it is greatly appreciated.
"Many hands make light work."
One of the areas wisdom will be needed is how to get Dad (and Mom) to and from all the upcoming visits to doctors. I have been able to take personal time off days so far, but I have a limited number of days. So wisdom when to take them is needed.
Mom's short term memory loss is still severe enough that it would be a concern of her driving. She forgets some things (but not everything) after a few minutes, and forgetting where she is driving to would not be good.
Dad had hoped from the outset of the expected to be outpatient surgery that he would be driving himself right away. Today the primary care physician told us that Dad can drive once some conditions are met. Dad should be pain free enough to comfortably sit to drive, and to be no longer taking the pain killing medication that also induces drowsiness.
So we have hopes now that the catheter is out, Dad will recover quickly.
However, tomorrow I imagine we will learn that the coming chemotherapy will wipe him out enough that driving again will be out of the question...
We have also considered taxis, and taxi-like services focused on medical transport. However, having had no experience, it is hard to know what would be usable.
Aunt Vera in the past has been a great help in this manner. However, her own health issues and other family obligations limited what she could do recently. Now I am hesitant to directly ask again, unless it can be part of a rotation or some other load sharing method.
Cousin Sean has already expressed willingness to help with this or other things, even while I was writing this, and it is greatly appreciated.
"Many hands make light work."
Dad (Harold Abbey) much more comfortable, for a while, but chemotherapy coming
Dad (Harold Abbey) had a very tough week. His bladder tumor removal
surgery on 1/21 went smoothly, but recovery has been difficult, mainly
due to a very painful catheter. Praise God that it was finally removed
today, and Dad is already able to be up and about. Previously to this
morning he could barely get out of bed, and even movement in bed was
painful. By afternoon, he was already well improved, able to have
regular conversations and sit up without pain.
However, today we learned that the evaluation from the surgery is that
Dad had a high grade cancerous tumor, and the cancer had advanced into
the muscle of the bladder. So the next step is chemotherapy, and very
likely removal of the bladder. Bladder cancer seems to be a cancer that
is often successfully treated these days. However, the delay of getting
it treated has added risk. Tomorrow, 2/7/2014, Dad will have his first
visit with an oncologist (cancer doctor) to discuss plans.
Both Mom and Dad are still adjusting to this news while also adjusting
to the very positive change of Dad's sitting up and being able to eat a
meal at the table.
Please pray that the doctors and the family have wisdom how to best
handle and prepare for the upcoming challenges.
surgery on 1/21 went smoothly, but recovery has been difficult, mainly
due to a very painful catheter. Praise God that it was finally removed
today, and Dad is already able to be up and about. Previously to this
morning he could barely get out of bed, and even movement in bed was
painful. By afternoon, he was already well improved, able to have
regular conversations and sit up without pain.
However, today we learned that the evaluation from the surgery is that
Dad had a high grade cancerous tumor, and the cancer had advanced into
the muscle of the bladder. So the next step is chemotherapy, and very
likely removal of the bladder. Bladder cancer seems to be a cancer that
is often successfully treated these days. However, the delay of getting
it treated has added risk. Tomorrow, 2/7/2014, Dad will have his first
visit with an oncologist (cancer doctor) to discuss plans.
Both Mom and Dad are still adjusting to this news while also adjusting
to the very positive change of Dad's sitting up and being able to eat a
meal at the table.
Please pray that the doctors and the family have wisdom how to best
handle and prepare for the upcoming challenges.
Dad physically improving, but pain keeping him in bed and despair.
I visited Dad tonight. He seemed encouraged some by the visit.
It seems like his surgery recovery might be going fairly well. The issue is not that, but the severe pain he has from the catheter. The severe pain and discomfort is causing him to be stuck in bed.
So he is feeling hopeless at times.
Hopefully the expected follow-up doctor appointments can be arranged, but getting to doctor with his pain and discomfort is a concern.
Hopefully the social worker tomorrow will have some insight.
It seems like his surgery recovery might be going fairly well. The issue is not that, but the severe pain he has from the catheter. The severe pain and discomfort is causing him to be stuck in bed.
So he is feeling hopeless at times.
Hopefully the expected follow-up doctor appointments can be arranged, but getting to doctor with his pain and discomfort is a concern.
Hopefully the social worker tomorrow will have some insight.
Dad stuck in bed, and feeling hopeless.
Dad is not doing well.
Dad is has not recovered well from his surgery on 1/21. He has been in bed all this time.
He is feeling sorry for himself, and hopeless.
A social worker will be visiting tomorrow, 01/31/2014, at 11am.
I pray they will have wisdom to understand the situation, my parents desires,
and how best to proceed.
Dad is has not recovered well from his surgery on 1/21. He has been in bed all this time.
He is feeling sorry for himself, and hopeless.
A social worker will be visiting tomorrow, 01/31/2014, at 11am.
I pray they will have wisdom to understand the situation, my parents desires,
and how best to proceed.
Dad is home
Dad was longer in the hospital than expected.
He had bladder spasms which caused pain in stomach.
Once that was treated with some medicine, felt and did much better.
He still has a catheter, but is resting at home.
Mom is also doing well. She did quite well by herself a couple nights, but is very glad to have Dad home again.
Tomorrow mid-day I take Mom to get her long-unused feeding tube removed. It should be an outpatient operation.
He had bladder spasms which caused pain in stomach.
Once that was treated with some medicine, felt and did much better.
He still has a catheter, but is resting at home.
Mom is also doing well. She did quite well by herself a couple nights, but is very glad to have Dad home again.
Tomorrow mid-day I take Mom to get her long-unused feeding tube removed. It should be an outpatient operation.
Dad spending night in hospital after "outpatient" surgery, but seems OK
Dad, Mom, and Aunt Vera went to St. John Macomb hospital (formerly South Macomb) early today for what was to be outpatient surgery to have a growth in the bladder removed. It had been delayed in the past in part due to Dad's apathy about it, and in part due to other concerns about Dad's health (about his heart I think).
The surgery went smoothly, and Dad was awake recovering at the expected time. During the surgery, Dad's heart had a few irregularities, but it smoothed itself out.
The growth did not look cancerous, but we will be awaiting the biopsy lab test results.
Dad is uncertain why they decided to keep him overnight. Late in the day he had stomach pains, which is not an unusual result of anesthesia.
Mom is staying home alone, despite Dad's initial wishes. Mom was adamant about not having someone spend the night with her. Dad is very worried about Mom, if she will do the things she is supposed to. I am
much less worried, since she has been managing fine during the typical mornings when Dad sleeps later than her.
We all hope that Dad can come home tomorrow without any problems.
I really hope he can be home by Thursday, as on Friday Mom is to go in for her own outpatient procedure to finally take out the feeding tube that she needed for a short time.
The surgery went smoothly, and Dad was awake recovering at the expected time. During the surgery, Dad's heart had a few irregularities, but it smoothed itself out.
The growth did not look cancerous, but we will be awaiting the biopsy lab test results.
Dad is uncertain why they decided to keep him overnight. Late in the day he had stomach pains, which is not an unusual result of anesthesia.
Mom is staying home alone, despite Dad's initial wishes. Mom was adamant about not having someone spend the night with her. Dad is very worried about Mom, if she will do the things she is supposed to. I am
much less worried, since she has been managing fine during the typical mornings when Dad sleeps later than her.
We all hope that Dad can come home tomorrow without any problems.
I really hope he can be home by Thursday, as on Friday Mom is to go in for her own outpatient procedure to finally take out the feeding tube that she needed for a short time.
Mom seems healthy
I visited Friday. Mom and Dad seem to be adjusting to the new normal.
Mom is at home, and seems to get around fine around the main floor of the house without a walker now.
She is much thinner than she used to be, but seems at a healthy weight.
She looks a bit confused at times. Mom's understanding is she was very sick, and still recovering. She understands she still has issues with her short term memory.
It seems like Mom's recovery is slowing, and not getting much better. Topics we discussed two weeks ago were new to her. She also did not remember seeing some of her visitors while she was in rehab.
She does appreciate the good care with which Dad is taking care of her, and the cards and letters.
Dad is (maybe) starting to learn that the things that Mom says incorrectly do not always need to be corrected. I think that aspect will be a source of frustration for them both for a while.
Mom is at home, and seems to get around fine around the main floor of the house without a walker now.
She is much thinner than she used to be, but seems at a healthy weight.
She looks a bit confused at times. Mom's understanding is she was very sick, and still recovering. She understands she still has issues with her short term memory.
It seems like Mom's recovery is slowing, and not getting much better. Topics we discussed two weeks ago were new to her. She also did not remember seeing some of her visitors while she was in rehab.
She does appreciate the good care with which Dad is taking care of her, and the cards and letters.
Dad is (maybe) starting to learn that the things that Mom says incorrectly do not always need to be corrected. I think that aspect will be a source of frustration for them both for a while.
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