Since I am being requested to discuss my story of faith in Jesus the Christ this Sunday as part of joining in membership of Salem Bible Church, I decided to find the previously written copy I have for my own reference. I found 3 (2 done at same time), and have copied them here. They are repetitive, since they all share the same story, with different details in each.
My documented testimony from Cedarville, MI on 7/22/2009 as below.
Theme: Search for emotion.
Before
While going through high school I knew intellectually that God existed. My understanding of science was that a creator had to exist and my understanding of history & morals showed me that it was the God of the Christian bible [sic., should be Bible]. However, that was worthless to me. I had tried to follow what I knew to be right, but failed miserably. I finally gave up on God's rules and no longer tried to (be perfect / change my behavior from what came naturally.)
I sort of just went with the flow. A good example of that was my choice of college. My grades were good enough to get in anywhere, and everyone expected me to go to college (and get into computers). Since I didn't care either way, any [sic., should be and] my parents were tight on money, I went to the school with the lowest application fee (Michigan Tech), where one of my friends was also going (Korey).
He was extremely outgoing, the life of the party, so (in the fall of my first year of college / when we started college) I hung around him and let (him / Korey), introduce me to all (/ a lot ) of the people he was meeting.
one of the things he did was introduce me to (InterVarsity Christian Fellowship / a college Christian fellowship). Since I still believed in God, I decided to attend, still going with the flow.
Here (at InterVarsity) I met a lot of nice, friendly people. I also really saw people talking of relationship with Jesus Christ, something I had never heard of before (other than in the overused imagery of inviting Jesus into your heart). After a couple months of spending time with the group, I realized it wasn't just talk, but real. These people were not only striving to live by God's Law, but also felt love in their lives. This really hit me while singing a song that echoed
Jesus descended to the depths
Jesus come from heaven to earth
our lives to save.
so all might be saved
For the first time, I knew and understood that He did that out of love for me, a love he wants to continue to show me in innumerable ways. For the first time, I wanted to return that (/ Jesus's) love.
To show and deepen my love, I started for the first time ever to study the bible (sic., should be Bible) on my own. I also started to realize God was active in my life. Not all nice, but active. (Here I could insert some a one line teaser or two about other stories of my life.)
Through the years God has shown me more and more what he showed me through that song long ago:
Jesus descended... in love and desire for relationship with each of us.
To put my faith story in summary or outline form:
Started with knowledge.
Realized inability and got discouraged away.
Went with flow, no strong conviction.
Met fellowship and Jesus's love.
Verse relevance: the song echoes Philippians 2:8.
Saw Jesus's love and loved Him..
Acted in love by learning and experiencing Him.
Philippians 2:8: And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!
Jodi reminded me that I also wrote my testimony when we joined Bible Baptist Church in about 2005, but I do not have that one available that I can easily find.
While searching for it, I found a typewritten version in a file apparently from around 4/21/1995. It looks to be a short and long version of my testimony that I prepared to give for a small Christian church in rural Japan spring 1995.
from file-name: ttmychst.txt
Howard Abbey - How I came to know and love Christ
I was raised with Christian teachings with Christian
parents. However, because my mother and father belonged to two
different denominations, they could not decide on a church to
attend regularly. So I ended up receiving almost all my
education about Jesus from my parents. As long as I can
remember, there was no doubt in my mind that God and Jesus
existed as was told in the bible, even if I hadn't read any of
it. This was because my father always showed me the logic behind
Christianity, and the foolishness of the many other explanations
for our existence on earth.
Despite this, however, I did not have a personal
relationship with Jesus. For my junior and high school years, I
tried to follow God's rules just because they were His rules. I
failed miserably. During my senior year of high school I came
near to the point of giving up even trying to obey God.
When I entered college, Michigan Tech., I heard about a get-
together sponsored by a on-campus Christian group, I.V.C.F., that
some of the new friends I had made were going to. I went, and
decided to go to the weekly meetings. At the weekly meeting,
through to praise and worship, I felt and realized God's love for
me. I realized that Jesus died on the cross for me because he
loves me more than I can ever imagine. I then accepted Jesus's
love, and decided to commit myself to him, wherever He may lead.
So far, He has led me to great teachers and learning
experiences, both in the U.S. and in Japan. I am extremely
grateful for what He has done for me, and hope that He may
continue to lead me to where I can serve Him best.
Testimony
I grew up in a Christian home, but my family rarely went to
church. My mother is a Catholic, and my father is a baptist. I
think my parent's religious differences made it difficult to go
to church often. This resulted in almost all my religious
teaching coming from my parents, and the programs my father would
listen to on the radio and T.V. Also, my father would often give
me long instructive talks on Christianity. I also learned about
Christianity by my parent's example of Christian lives despite
difficulty. However, nothing of what I had learned came directly
from the bible. The only bible verses I knew were ones that my
father often quoted.
At school my beliefs were left unchallenged. I had learned
from my father and T.V. that many scientists didn't believe in
the bible. I had also seen some of the arguments supporting the
bible as truth. I didn't see any of the arguments against the
bible in school until high school. By that time, I had heard
both sides from other places already, and had made up my mind
that the bible was the true word of God.
However, I had yet to discover Jesus. I knew the bible was
true, and knew God has rules for us. But I didn't know how to
apply them to my life. I tried to live a moral life, and do what
was expected of me. I tried to follow the rules I had heard, but
I failed miserably. By the time I had reached my final year of
high school, I had almost given up trying to follow God's rules.
I thought of my life as useless. I had thoughts of suicide, but
knew that it would only result in my going to hell. I began to
realize that I had no reason for living. I had just been doing
what was expected of me. So while trying to deal with these
problems, I continued to do what was expected of me, and entered
a university.
One of my long time best friends entered the same university
as I did. Being much more outgoing than I was, he made many more
friends than I did at the start of school. He introduced me to
some of them, and told me of activities that were planned. One
of these included an meeting of a student Christian group, called
InterVarsity. Believing in the existence of Christ, and wanting
to meet people, I decided to go. I enjoyed myself greatly, and
decided to attend the meetings weekly. At a meeting, while
singing a song of praise to Jesus, I actually listened to the
words of the song. It was about how Jesus loved us so much that
he died, and went to hell so we could be with God forever. The
song made me realize how much God loves us, and wants to be with
us. At that moment I decided to accept that love, and try to
return it. I started going to church on a regular basis, and
finally had a purpose in life, to serve God. I still had trouble
with sin, but found its power over me was broken. I helped set
up for and clean up after the weekly InterVarsity meetings. I
started studying the bible daily. I wanted to learn all I could
about what the bible said. In this way, I spent my first year at
college.
In Japan God has taught me much. I have come to realize how
difficult it is to protect one's faith from being compromised by
daily life in Japan and America. I have once again learned the
importance and pleasure of close Christian fellowship. My stay
in Japan has given me a deeper concern for those who still don't
know Jesus Christ as Lord. It showed me how much a nation as a
whole affects the religion of those in the nation.
One of the most educating and difficult times of my stay in
Japan was a week long field trip to Tenri, center of tenrikyo
with Teresa and the other Michigan Center students. About a
month before the trip I had asked in prayer for the Lord to make
the spiritual side of life more real for me. I had seen others'
full acceptance of the spiritual side of life. I became aware of
my reluctance when dealing with the world on a spiritual level.
I have always known that both the world we touch and the
spiritual world interact. Many coincidences are easily explained
by the spiritual world giving the reasons. All God's miracles
can not be explained without the spiritual world. However, I
tended to ignore, and almost discount, the spiritual side.
Instead I preferred the side of modern day science, with easier,
widely accepted explanations without reasons. I wanted that to
change; I wanted to more easily accept the invisible battles
between God and the devil. In Tenri I moved a step closer. I
was also reminded that if I see and feel the battles, I can't be
just a spectator, but must fight for the glory of God.
A while before entering the central temple of tenrikyo,
Teresa expressed her concern about whether we should enter it
because of our faith. I said it shouldn't be a problem, and it
would probably be similar to the many Buddhist temples we had
toured for other field trips. She expressed concern that a
special service was going to be performed. I asked our guides
who said that only explanations were to be given. I told Teresa
this. Upon taking off my shoes in preparation to enter the
building, I felt uneasy, somehow nervous. I told Teresa that
maybe I had been mistaken. Everyone else entered, except for
Teresa and one guide. I couldn't understand why I felt uneasy
about entering this place. Teresa explained to the guide that
entering this place felt wrong with our spirit, and might be
taken as disrespectful to our God, Jesus Christ. It was arranged
that we re-meet up with our group one hour afterward. I was
still trying to understand my uneasiness. Teresa and I walked
around talking of my nervousness. While walking around talking,
I suddenly noticed a man bowing in the direction from which we
had come. Everyone was bowing toward the temple which I had
avoided entering. I also heard music playing over a city wide
speaker system. I tapped Teresa to make sure she noticed this
man. I felt a sense of understanding and gladness that I was not
at the center of all these people bowing. I am very glad I was
led away. I wonder what would have happened if I would have went
with the group. However, I am glad and praise God that I didn't.
I am also glad that I was able to see more visibly than ever
God's guidance and protection of me. Seeing the man bowing
Teresa suggested singing for Jesus. We did this, prayed, and
sang some more while continuing to walk.
The religiosity of Japan has also taught me. While in
America, I did not see religion on a daily basis. In Japan, I
have seen much more religion daily. I see Buddhist festivals,
good luck charms, and small well taken care of shrines
everywhere. This has shown me how much the people of Japan long
for a God. They just have been looking in the wrong place.
The Japanese Christians I have met have also taught me a
lot. They have a strong love for God that is often weak in
America, because it is not tested as much as in Japan. I thank
God for all he has taught me here.
I also should include what has been going on in my relationship with God since my early years of college.
To quickly summarize it, I guess I would say that I have been going with the flow still, but with the knowledge that God is directing my path. I grew a lot during my college years, and seem to have become stuck in a downward rut after graduation. Jodi thinks it has been up and down, up and down. There have been difficult and joyful times, but through it all, I know there is a purpose I should strive for. That purpose is God's glory, not my comfort, nor personal pleasure, nor my pocketbook.
